go ahead...bust a swag!

When I was in high school, some guys would wear their pants down so their underwear would show. This was called "busting a sag". Well, one day the principal came over the intercom system and announced that any young men "busting a swag" would face hard time. My friends and I still recall that announcement with raucous laughter. It was a great day to be a high schooler.

But here is a good way to bust a swag! Sign up for swag bucks! It is so great because you just do what you normally do! And in the process of doing what you normally do you can earn swag bucks which you trade in for various gift cards - my fave Amazon.com. You can get anything there. I have a link below if you want to use it.

Birth story...part...I lost count

So anyhoo...

I'm truckin' along pretty uneventfully - which is good. I've finally had a shower after 3 or 4 days, got rid of my catheter and came off the IV Saturday night. I don't feel that great, but not that bad either.

That all changed as quickly as I just typed the sentence.

Sunday morning I woke up hurting somewhat, but nothing I couldn't handle. ANd a little was to be expected. I tried to eat breakfast, but couldn't - now I KNOW something is wrong. So I call the nurse and tell her I'm hurting. She doesn't show for a few minutes and the pain gets worse. I call her again telling her I am going to have to have some pain relief if this is the condition I am expected to stay in.

By the time she comes in things have gone considerably downhill. She took a brief look at me and yells out the door to call the doctor and come help her get me "downstairs".

Oh boy, here we go again...

I figure I better try to pull it together since we are going out in the hallway. So I smooth my hair and compose myself...for about 30 seconds. As soon as we get in the hallway a contraction hits and that entire hospital knew it. Sorry if you happen to have been there.

What an indescribable pain. An annoying pain. Aggravating pain. I understand why women feel so mean during labor now. Somewhere between the upstairs and downstairs, I threw my spikey little metal headband at someone.

Upon entering the surgical labor room and between doctors and nurses contemplating what to do with me (here it comes Aunt Mollie) my water broke. And when you don't have a big fat baby to block that water, boy, does it come out in an awful, uncomfortable gush.

The doctor shouted to call for anesthesia because she was feet first. They tried to get me ready for a c-section, but it was just too late.

They then told me to push which is when I went into shock mode and just stared at them. I'm sorry, what?! Push?! One sweet nurse thought I didn't know how so she told me what to do. I quickly replied that I knew how to push thank you very much, I just didn't want to. However, that technique was not going to keep my feisty little girl from coming.

I pushed and out she came. At exactly 9:31 weighing two pounds. She came out feet first, hypothermic, yet screaming bloody murder.




And yes. It was aaall natural. I know she was tiny, but we have abnormally large heads - so don't forget that.



Thus began the absolute longest months of my life...

Wii had fun!!

Woohoo! Santa brought us a Wii for Christmas! We have had so much fun and we are so very sore.




We did the Wii fitness age. And thus begins our after Christmas depression. So awful - I don't advise it.



I am also a member of the cult. You know - the Snuggie cult. You know how they all join together at variuos events and choose to leave out one person? Well, my Pepto pink version officially enlists me. As does the free bonus book light that came with.

I am pretty sure I am a senior citizen now.

The only question that remains, of course, is, do I wear it to the bathroom?

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!!

Woooo! It's Christmas Eve Eve!!

For us, this day is big this year because we asked Santa to come tonight instead of tomorrow. Dad has to work Christmas day, but not Christmas Eve. Santa is a pretty good guy so he was more than happy to oblige and we get to spend the day enjoying each other and watching Schyler play with her gifts. Then Schyler and I will spend Christmas day with the fam. Which for her means Abbie and that's all that matters.

Speaking of Abbie - I heard that Abbie tried to get someone to tell her what her gift is - grrrrrrr.

I am going to have an AWESOME giveaway after Christmas, so come back later. You can catch up on the grossness that is the wonder of our birth story, too.

And I promise my giveaway is NOT a regift. That is not why I am waiting until after Christmas.

Birth Stories...continued

So as I was saying...You know how if we actually knew everything we think we wish we knew, we would wish we could go back and not know it.

Right.

So anyway...My first night "downstairs" was successful. No baby. Bright and not-so-early the next morning I got to move upstairs to the perinatal unit and...EAT!! Thank you Lord!! I still had that blasted catheter and I was hooked up to massive amounts of magnesium, but food glorious food. Honey, I checked every single option on that menu. I am serious as a heart attack - food I do not joke about. And girl they brought it. Every single option under that breakfast heading.

Along with a note that they would not be serving cheeseburgers until lunch.

Shortly after lunch the heat set in. Oh yes, it was December. And oh was it cold. But if you've ever been on heaping doses of magnesium for any period of time, you know the heat. It's not a burning sensation. It's just straight up heat. From the inside out. And I don't care how high you turn on the air, how numb your husbands extremities get, how nurses refuse to come in, even when ice crystals form on your IV bag - it just ain't gonna work. It's hot.

As I sat sweltering in my own skin, I also became increasingly aware of the bands around my belly that were most assuredly meant to squeeze the ever loving life out of me. One to monitor the baby's heart rate and one to monitor my contractions. Or either to just go ahead and pop that baby right out. Man those things are tight. Or maybe they just get that way after two days.

So anyway...The on-call doctor says there is no way he would send me home, but my usual doctor says she's going to wean me off of magnesium, put me solely on oral pills, and send me home on Monday. She breezes in and acts like this is no big deal.

That is after she tells me I'll be going home on "bed rest".

Bed rest? Are you kidding?! Woohoo! I mean I have no other kids to tend to and I've had friends on bed rest. They don't go to work, they can't do any housework, but they still get to go to church, walk around a little bit. Sounds more like a vacation.

Maybe not.

My nonchalant little let it roll off her shoulders obstetrician gave me a laugh so hearty it made me wonder if it was some sort of cruel sound effect machine she carried around with her.

She then went on to explain that "bed rest" for ME means:
A)Staying in the bed.
B)Showering every third day, with shower chair.
C)Getting up once a day to go to the bathroom (you don't want to know).

Okay wait. What exactly IS going on here?

Do Not Enter This Giveaway

Amy at No. 15 is giving away an awesome necklace like the one she gave Jill. You can go and comment and enter, but I really don't want you to. I want it.

Part Two...

Well, I definitely couldn't overload yesterday, so I will finish...not now, but today. I think. Maybe not. But hopefully. Yeah, that's good - hopefully.

Birth Stories

Well you know there is nothing more a mom loves to hear and share than birth stories! I only have one child, but I bet no matter how many you have you remember every one because they are all unique. And wonderful. And bloody. And fairly disgusting. I read a wonderful blog post HERE (okay, well I'm having trouble making the "insert link" thing work - here-
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2009/12/birth-stories.html )
giving thought to what Mary went through to help God fulfill His perfect plan to deliver our Deliverer. Also, yesterday at church a friend sang a beautiful song about it. I'm going to try to find the lyrics.

So TODAY commemerates MY birth story. YES, my daughter is officially six years old today! I can not believe it. I have to say it is a pretty interesting one. And while that could be debatable, what I know for certain is that it WAS a miraculous one.

Man, I had been feeling bad. I was hurting all the time. I had to sit all the time, how on earth was I going to go on like this for 15 more weeks?? I was teaching kindergarten - not exactly a sitting down occupation! I talked to my doctor about it on Tuesday, December 16th at my check-up. She said I had Braxton-Hicks and gave me a sympathetic nod.

The next morning I lost my mucus plug. Here is a little of that disgusting part we discussed earlier.

I knew immediately what it was, as there was no mistaking it. I called the doctor and they said I better come on in. I wondered if I had time to go ahead and do my Christmas shopping. I had been waiting for my Christmas bonus and I had just gotten it that morning, hmmmm.....

I got to the doctor's office and my regular doctor wasn't there, I later realized how brilliantly God worked that out. I saw a new young, however very knowledgable and capable doctor. She checked me out, turned to the nurse and told her to "call downstairs", turned to me and Brandon and said a sentence that changed our lives forever,

"You are dilated 3 centimeters, 50% effaced, and your water is bulging."

I think we were all pretty shocked. She looked through my chart - perfectly normal. We all stared at each other for a moment before I asked, "What does this mean?"

She told me she was admitting me to the hospital. They were getting a wheelchair for me to take me downstairs. Then she went on to tell me thhings like a 25 week infant "could be viable". What? Well, that's all good, but there was no way I was having this baby now. Things like that just don't happen, do they?

I went to this mysterious "downstairs" and stayed all night with bright lights in my face, the hardest bed you can ever imagine, and a nurse by my side every minute. I had IV's, discussions with a group of people I never knew existed - neonatologists, and experienced the joy of the catheter.

And still, I had no comprehension of the gravity of the situation. I think it was a sort of defense mechanism that God installs in us. Like survival mode. You know how we think we want to know what God knows, but really if we did we would probably curl up under a rock somewhere?

Woooo! I am so excited about today!! Katie and Joel are coming, we're spending the day at Granny's, Wendy and I are taking the kids to see Santa (no, not at the mall - at the drug store!ha!), and I'm going to score some awesome deals at CVS! More free toilet paper - YESSSSS! You know my motto, "Why would you want to pay for something you wipe crap all over?" Vulgar, yes. Sorry. But anyway, thank you CVS. I can't imagine this is of any interest to any of you so I'll go...

I missed you!

Okay, I confess! I missed it all!! I miss the ease of reading other blogs by just the click of my mouse, I miss venting, I miss posting cute pictures and sayings. But there were some reasons for me to give it up. Then the final was when I got some sketchy e-mails from people looking at my blog. Being the wife of a policeman - those things bring bad thoughts. Sad but true.
So I thought I'll give the private blog a try. This way only "invited" people can check it out (I know! I'm so exclusive!). So anyway. Here it is! I'll try to keep you entertained as you do the same for me!

What a day, what a day...

Just so you know, when I say that, in my head I am doing the wicked witch voice. But she actually said what a world. Oh well. Anyway. Joann has totally ruined my otherwise brilliant day. Who is Joann you ask? Why she is the lady at the grocery store. She was not very kind. And isn't it funny how one thing like that can linger on...Really, my whole day has been absolutely fine. How sneaky is the enemy with that little seed of bitterness. Crouched like a snake ready to strike at the door.

I am telling you. God has had to deal with me about so many different things lately. I am serious. Poor guy. When I die, just put "God got tired" on my tombstone. I mean it's just over and over and over...All of you who know me in real life - bless your hearts!

In completely unrelated news...here are some October highlights:


See all that green in my sink? And the empty bottle of dish detergent on the back of the sink? Yeah, 30 seconds before I took that picture it was absolutely full. Brand new. But my girl, being the helper that she is, wanted to clean my sink for me.

Here is our spooky pumpkin. The Officer and Favorite Girl did it "together". Which means he did it while we ate the roasted seeds...yummy!

In the background is her favorite tree. She named it Goldie.

Enjoying a nice fall day. The Officer was shelling some kind of nuts for us. I can't remember what they were, but they were pretty good. Definitely not worth all the trouble, though. Just sayin'.

The ONLY picture I got at the fall festibal. Favorite cousin Abbie was the cutest Alabama (arg!) cheerleader and my girl used her cute little blond curls and one missing tooth to be Darth Vader. She is her mother's child.

Oh and this is what I am REALLY proud of. I mean look at those numbers! I saved 71.59 and spent 17.80! Woo! Today I saved a hundred dollars, but I went over my budget a little - darn you Joann!!

Guess who came to dinner? This little guy graced our lovely flower arrangement that Favorite Girl made for us. We can't figure how he stayed in there so long, but he didn't come out until dinner. It was pretty funny to be sitting there eating and just have him pop out. We even had company that night! Haha! So perfect!

Well this was the best day ever. My girl is a little too young to get into the fad stuff yet. But thankfully, yes sooooo thankfully we have cousin Abbie to introduce those things to us! So since they don't sell those crazy newfangled jelly bracelets (yes, I know - silly bandz) anywhere I go i.e.:Publix, I offered to pay the 3.25 shipping if she wanted to order them online with her own money. So she did and getting them in the mail was probably better than buying them in the store.

A little upside down reading to help time pass. Gotta love upside down hobbies.

Pumpkin Patch!!

Nothing says fall quite like a makeshift pumpkin patch on every corner! Our co-op group went to a local one, Shadow Lake Pumpkin Patch. It really is fun and it is put on by the church where I grew up, so I enjoy seeing all the people I haven't seen since last year's PP (guess I may want to rethink that abbreviation).


They did a fun little interactive story time.

Of course, face painting. Doesn't everyone associate rainbows and ladybugs with fall?

Logan got to come for a little while, so that was fun. He's quite a social butterfly. She says his name kind of like "Loge-ing" and I think she may think that is his name.

When have you ever seen a pumpkin patch growing that you didn't see huge blow-up things to jump on? Especially when the pumpkins grow nice and clean on top of pallets so they won't rot underneath.

While my child was working hard to see if she could break several bones at once, I was sitting on a bench talking to another mom while sipping a nice, overly sweet, powdered apple cider mix. Aaahhhh. All the sights, sounds, and smells of fall wrapped up in one!


Read on, I have 3 posts today!! All with pictures!! Yes, you're right, she must be napping!

Z baby

We had a special visitor last week! This is our new friend, Z! We were absolutely thrilled to have her stay with us for a couple of hours.




So much fun being a little Mama!




This is pretty much what we did the whole time! Just sit and stare at her, entertain her, kiss her, rub her little hands! Our little Z friend is so special. Her dad gets to watch her from Heaven with Jesus, so please pray for her and her mom every time you think of them.

Bloody Faces, Clean Clothes...

Here is "The Bloody-Faced Girl" mwaaaahaaaahaaaa. This is after we seeded a pomegranate. Yes, I know you can do it under water (the pomegranate, not the person...boy that would inconvenient. Owning a wetsuit just so you could eat pomegranate)and I know it will stain your clothes. But how much fun is it to take pictures of "bloody faces"!! And everything we own comes from the thrift store anyway.



And here is a fun pass-time. Who doesn't love watching a front load washer? She actually told me to come in there, I was about to miss the best part. I know. You're thinking maybe I exaggerate about her intelligence. Well, we all have our quirks, my child just happens to have 10 or 12.

I may need intervention...

Oh my goodness!! Can I just tell you that I am using what I learned at the coupon class and I think I have a problem. I mean, I know I have always loved a deal, but this...mmmmmm. This is sweet. I mean suuweeeat. Since the class I have been to Publix twice and each time I have saved 50%. Fifty per cent!! I haven't even been able to throw my last receipt away yet. It's sick. My total was $20 and after my deals and coupons, I payed half that!!! Woooo!

So we took some books back to the liberry (a little something for you-know-who-you-are) and I decided to give Rite-Aid a try since it was right there close by. Because, you know, the first rule of Mommydom - no doubling back and there has to be more than one reason/stop or you're wasting a trip. I don't care if you have one kid or ten. It applies. And the first rule can be actually two rules combined because we're moms and we reserve the right to do pretty much anything we want. You know, because we're moms.
*Pause for ADD meds*
Okay, so anyhoo...I went in, bought the stuff on my list - things that I actually use, and as soon as I enter my receipt at their website they are going to send me a check for 30.46. I ONLY SPENT !(>@)!! Oh sorry, forgot to let off the shift key - 19.20!!! They are paying me 11.26 to buy things that I use!! Whaaaaat!! I know!

So I was stuck in a lot of traffic, I mean a LOT of traffic because of "the game" ( I live halfway between downtown B'ham, Hoover, and Tuscaloosa - there's only one game) and nothing could get me down. I was on a coupon high.

Same ol', same ol'...

I know I never tell about our regular days. To me they are just so...regular. I mean in a good way, though. I am thankful for regular. I have had not regular days and I loooooove regular. But just in case you thought we never do anything I thought I would share a little bit.

Right now, The Officer works days - 6-4. So we get up by 4:30, I cook him some breakfast and we watch infomercials together to see what kind of groundbreaking technology we're missing out on. Did you know there is a huge, yet lightweight magnetic velcro strap that will hold your tools, weed your garden, dry your car, and straighten your hair with minimal to no heat damage??! Wait...things may be running together at this point.

I try to wake The Girl up beginning around 8ish. She's usually rarin' to go by lunch. We're NOT morning people. We pick up a little, she usually eats Dad's leftovers and we do some school stuff. Right now school consists of:
Handwriting (Handwriting Without Tears). She enjoys this because we use a little dry erase board and who doesn't love to write and erase on those. Sometimes I sneak in there and draw tiny little pictures...mwaaahaaaahaaa.
Memorizing and understanding Bible verses. We use those little A Beka cards that go along with the alphabet, which is good for anybody! They are in the king's english which is like, huh, what? But it's cool to know people used to actually talk like that and we translate into modern words.
Numbers/math. We are pretty much done with recognizing numbers and are wrapping up telling time by the hour. We found SO many great books on time at the library. We even did a small study on the beginnings of time keeping and early clock designs. It was sooo interesting.
Phonics/reading. We read lots of books and talk about special sounds. We are recognizing compound words and syllables and suffixes and stuff like that.
We go to co-op every Friday where she participates in P.E., science experiments, music, and a study of trees. In music she is learning to read shape notes, isn't that awesome! Her music teacher is incredible! All her teachers are incredible. She lives for co-op! So do I! I teach P.E. and assist in a geography class, a CSI class, and an older kids P.E. It's so fun. Yesterday we all went to Chick-fil-A afterwards and embarassed the bejeebers out of our kids. The teenagers ended up sitting outside to get away...aaaaahhh, the joys of motherhood.
We also just wrapped up a study of ancient Egypt which was all kinds of fun. She is now interested in pioneers (that squeal was Aunt Mama Hen - that woman loves some pioneers), so we're beginning a pioneer study.

Wow, that looks like a lot. But it's really not. We can implement most of that stuff just by reading relevant books. And we don't have to do all of it every single day. We try to do most of it, but there are just so many ways to implement those things in our everyday activities. Homeschool is something I am so thankful God has called us to do.

So there you go...hello?...anybody there?...hmm, must have lost you...

Heaven isn't too far away...

[insert swooning frizzy haired rocker voice]Wooooaaaa woooooo...


The bad thing about being...well, my age is that I have distinct recollections of hair bands music. And typically, the music is awful. Just awful. The lyrics are soooo cheesy and I'm pretty sure that you can hardly call what they had talent. But, nonetheless, I remember.





And the thing about me is, it just takes one little random word to get a song flowing through my head and it's stuck.





Exhibit A: I am reading a great book entitled Heaven (sorry, I don't know how to underline)by Randy Alcorn. It is wonderful. Scripture based and sound and so interesting. But as I am cursed, everytime I pick it up - "Heaven isn't too far away...woooaaaa wooooaaa...closer to it ev-er-y-day...wooaaaa woooaaaa". Who did that one, Poison?!

(Here's a little eye candy for ya')



So as the subject matter is obviously something I am very excited about, you can see why I am so disappointed at my brain's song of choice.





Exhibit B: Last night before church we met the GA's to pack stuff, wrap stuff, and make stuff to send to the children's home in Mexico. So I was decorating a name tag for Margarita and instantly started whistling "If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain...". Now I know that is not a hair band song (for once), but definitely inappropriate. What is wrong with me!?!





So children - listen to your Mother when she says be careful what you allow in your head. Because it's true: What goes in is what comes out and it's not always so funny.

Hello? Mother-in-law? Your son may be coming home...

I know how some of you say things like,"Oh! I just don't know what to get my husband for_______." I understand. Giving gifts to your man can be so hard.

But seriously. Some of you can buy them something that goes along with their favorite sports team. Or something to go along with a hobby they may have. Well, here is what my husband would like to have sitting in our back yard -

What is that you say? Why, it's a crane...on tracks...on a barge...that floats...what's wrong with you? I mean isn't that sensible? He has been staring at this thing all morning on an online auction. He's looked at every view, inside and out. Now he's just wondering if it would fit on his trailer so he could get it home.

Like the good little wife I am I told him that I'm sure it would. As long as he's prepared to live on it.

Woohoo! Wait! I've already used that as a title...oh well. It's my blog.

Rest easy all of you who have been worried about my well being after missing last week's big wedding. I finally got it to play. Thought I'd give it one last try yesterday and it worked! What a relief for us all, I know. So keep your fingers crossed (something I totally do not believe in, but you know what I mean) because I have to miss tonight's episode, too.

Tonight is the big couponing class and I was like, what do I do? So I figure I'll go, learn what to do, proooobably NOT do it, miss The Office, catch it online tomorrow when I should be doing something somewhat productive, then be in a foul mood because I'll be behind. Sounds like a plan to me!

Oooooooo

My pastor has been teaching out of the book of Hosea (I know, what?) on Sunday nights and ooooohhhh. Last night we were in chapter four and can I just ask you if this sounds familiar...

- As knowledge of God decreases, moral depravity increases. Also see Romans 1 on that.
- As moral depravity (sin) increases not only does it affect us it sffects nature! Verse three says "the land mourns" and "everyone who lives in it languishes," then it tells us by everyone it means everyone! Animals, birds, fish, everybody! Also Romans 8 says the same.

I wonder if people would buy the fact that we don't suffer from global warming, but global sinning! Wish they would.

It also talks about how even the priests were corrupt therefore the people were corrupt, therefore they got the leaders they deserved.

And also they replaced the knowledge of God with four things:
1. food
2. that thing we all know, but I won't type out because if Abbie is reading Aunt Mama Hen would kill me
3. religion
4. wealth

Sound familiar America? Or at least the possibly 8-10 Americans reading this! Oh well, you have to start somewhere.

This was in my Bible reading this morning:

"Your decrees are wonderful; therefore I obey them.
The revelation of Your word brings lightand gives understanding to the inexperienced.
I pant with an open mouth because I long for Your commands.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is Your practice toward those who love Your name.
Make my steps steady through Your promise; don't let sin dominate me.
Redeem me from human oppression, and I will keep Your precepts.
Show favor to Your servant, and teach me Your statutes.
My eyes pur out streams of tears because people do not follow Your instruction."
Psalm 119:129-136

Aaaaaggghhhhhh

Somebody help!! Something very awful happened. I missed the big wedding Thursday. I know. Worse that you thought. I have watched The Office since season one, when it was a little painful at times. I have waited years for this moment and I missed it.

Well, anyway, I thought it won't be too bad, I'll just catch it online at the NBC website. So I have been waiting for this chance for, for, for well, since Thursday (it has felt a lot longer okay).

I get online, I make it through the puking, and my computer starts playing 2 seconds at a time then stopping for 3 seconds. What am I supposed to do??!! Do you understand the gravity of this situation!!??!

saturday

Lazy Saturday...aaaahhhhhh. Not too lazy, though. Got the Officer off to work - at the hiney crack of dawn, did some cleaning, did some school stuff. Watched the games. Love some games. Played some games. "North to Alaska" was the game of choice in which I lost miserably. I think I was taken advantage of during my screaming fits during the Auburn game.

I also think I have come to a decision about fb. Yeah, some of you know what I am talking about. I finally broke down and joined fb. Not FB, Fb, Facebook, or Face Book. It's either fb or facebook, this much I know. I did it to better communicate with my family, however, communication has been no more frequent and it's just been another thing. I guess if it is too inconvenient for someone to contact me by my home phone, cell phone, e-mail, or blog - I just ain't worth it and I can deal. So I'll be deleting my page here soon.

Some may say I am dropping some major cool points and let me tell you - I need every one I get. But I say, I am being more mysterious, thus waaaayyy more cool. Oh well...

Here's my newly snaggletoothed girl and her newly snaggletoothed friend. They were excited to have each other to share their excitement with.

Though I have to say to you, Aunt Mama Hen, she really can't wait to show your Chick #3!

Toofless

Big news for Darth Vader!! No, not just that Darth Vader wears green sparkly flip flops and carries a purse (see below). But we had our first visit from the Tooth Fairy!

The story goes like so (as told by Favorite Girl to Mom):

"I was eating an apple (ah ha!). I thought, huh, I have a big piece of apple stuck between my teeth (understandable). I reached up to pull it out and saw the funny piece of apple. Then I realized it wasn't apple!! It was my tooth! I was a little scared at first, but Mommy got me a washcloth with ice in it (cure for all that ails ya') and I was better. Now it feels really funny."

You have no idea how cute she sounds!

BFF's

Awwwww! Look at us lovely ladies! Aren't we aging well! Haha.

The three of us are BFF's from back in the day. We went to church together, school together and everything in between.
It's so funny...we are in three very different stages of life, but we can still burn up the phone with plenty to talk about. Sometimes life keeps us apart for several weeks, but when we find our way back, and we always do, we pick up right where we left off as if we haven't missed a beat. I know that I never have to remind them that certain things are confidential and we can say things like "remain clam" "poo-moaney" and "don't forget your glovers" and we laugh until our side feels as though it will split! It is such a blessing to have my BFF's!

Now check out that border back there! Is that an old country church or what!?! And yes. The blonde in the blue is as tall as me. I know! There are two of us. Now you know for sure only God can do that!

Wooo! Fun! We made a dress like an ancient Egyptian girl would have worn. Complete with hieroglyphics, which I think you can't see. Hmmmm....maybe she'll want to complete the outfit with hairdo and make-up and go as an ancient Egyptian to the fall festival...

This is the "wire man". He is at the Southern Environmental Institute at Birmingham Southern College. It was a fun field trip.

We got a great tour from a sweet girl named Resa. She grew up in Taiwan and spoke Mandarin! How cool is that! She showed us lots of edible and drought sustainable plants. As well as art like this dragonfly made out of trash!

We definitely believe in being good stewards of everything God has given us.

This is how I felt when I found out we were sitting on the old pool.

This is how I felt when I heard we had to get flushed down the toilet to go downstairs.

...no. Not an ancient Egyptian for the fall festival. Of course! Darth Vader. Doesn't every little girl dream of being Darth Vader when she grows up? Surely the real Darth Vader had little blonde curls under there. She has informed me, though that people on t.v. aren't really bad, they just pretend to be for the show. So Darth Vader isn't really bad, just misunderstood.

Here is the aftermath of the sleep-over. Need a better look?

Yes. That is the swing on the outdoor patio and yes the sun is beating down on her. After I put up the camera I did take her in and put her in the bed. She never budged. And we couldn't wake her. She slept for HOURS. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a while before Aunt Mama Hen allows another sleep over (at her house anyway).

In news that Aunt Mama Hen and her family will be proud of...my daughter now thinks The Dollar Tree is absolutely the best thing ever. She keeps going on about how everything in there is a dollar. One dollar! EVERYTHING! She can't believe it. I'm pretty sure life will never be the same for her.

Well, my great husband has gone from Deputy back to Officer again! He's glad and I'm glad...Officer sounds so much cooler than Deputy. He's on day/morning shift righ tnow and we are up at the hiney-crack (of dawn). We're so thankful this has worked out so well. We're still "cautiously optimistic" because until his official transfer in January, Jefferson County can do anything. But that's okay, our hope has never been in people!

I promise I have the best picture to sum up the latest sleep-over and it will be up soon!

Awwww! I got the Honest Crap, scratch that...Honest Scrap Award. I'm not really sure if that is a play on words and Jill really thinks I'm honest, yet crappy. Haha. Still, she must know that I am in constant need of the acceptance of everyone around me. Yes, I'll seek therapy.

1. I still have my childhood blankie that my Granny crocheted for me.

2. So far, I am loving my 30's.

3. I woke up at 4:15 this morning to cook my husband breakfast...because he deserves it.

4. I love my family - all of it, not just immediate...aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody!

5. I LOVE Jesus. I love to study the Bible. I love that every time I read God's Word, it is Him speaking to me and I don't have to be a great theologian to understand. There are no spiritually elite!

6. For Christmas, I am going to buy my daughter a...oh wait, I am SO not telling. I know you read this Abbie!! Haha.

7. I got married way to young. Or maybe just too spiritually young. But God can work all things to His glory for those who love Him. Praise Him for that!

I....am having a hard time...

8. My daughter was born 14 weeks premature.

9. My husband and I are newly addicted to reruns of the show "Wife Swap". You probably know it - two very different wife/mom's trade places for two weeks. It makes us feel so good about our lives. People are soooooo screwed up.

10. I am running out of steam and I gots to go feed m'ladies, i.e.:the chickens.

Sorry to bore you! I am a snoozer!

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but...

Did anyone catch Bettye Not-So-Fine Collins tonight? Her quotes were priceless: "It's not all bad" and "We survived". How about "The people see how hard we will work for them" Haahahhahahahahahaahhahaha...I'm so sorry...hahahahaha......give me a minute...

Whoooooo....Come on Jefferson County! Tell me you all see how (bad word alert) stupid (that was it) she thinks the people are. "It's not that bad. We survived [the fiscal year]."

WHO survived? She and the other greedmongers of the JCC, I guess. Scratch that - I KNOW. I am certain the 1051 employees who are out of work and the rest of the population paying $300 water bills would disagree.

Okay, okay, moving on...I just can't help it sometimes. Sorry to be a downer. Moving on moving on. Ummmm, can't think of anything. Field trip tomorrow, I'll take my camera and it will be a happy time! Although, it will be in Jefferson County....

WoW! It is getting absolutely cold outside. I do enjoy the fall, but once temperatures are below 78 degrees, it's sweater weather for me. So now it is continually harder for me to shave because I'm fighting off chill bumps in the shower. I blame it on my thyroid. That makes me feel a little less wierd.

Who wants to save money??

Okay, if you live near me, I have GREAT news for you! A genius that I go to church with is going to hold a class on couponing. Yes. "Couponing". It is now a verb. It is only a few okays away from being an Olympic sport.

Anyway...this girl KNOWS her stuff. She has a family of six, and monthly she spends $100 on groceries, gas, and eating out combined. Do you understand?? COMBINED!! And it's not dirty and underhanded so that retailers will catch on and quit doing these awesome coupon programs. It's totally legit.

The class is open to anyone and she is asking for a $5 donation to go to a new ministry. The ministry is going to help others with grocery bills and helping them learn to save, stuff like that. The class will be on October 15th, 6-8 p.m. I so can not wait...she said that for my small family I should be spending about $20 on groceries, especially since we garden and have our own eggs! She asked how much I am spending now, but I wouldn't tell. I was waaaayyy to embarassed.

If you want to attend, please let me know and I will get you directions to my church. It is open to anyone and everyone. We won't even make you dance around with the rattlesnakes (that's usually a second or third visit). Really, though, it's just all about coupons and saving. so be there!

Happy Birthday and I hate you...

Happy Birthday to the best guy ever! Yes, my husband. He is now closer to 40 than he is 30 and he may be freakin' out a little. The same way he did when I turned 30. Being that I am five years younger than him it was always a nice consolation to know your wife was still a young little thing in her 20's. But then one day I wasn't anymore. I mean in my twenties. So now I am in my thirties and he is closer to 40 and things are really unravelling.



So just kidding. He truly gets better every year and I love him more now than ever. Who was it that said you're the sweetest before you rot? Good sentiment there.



Now on to the I hate you part. I know, I know, it is a terrible word and I don't allow it, so what can I replace it with....sheer and utter disgust...abhor...displeasure...scorn. No, those are all bad. And no, this is not aimed at my sweet husband (not today anyway), but at his employer. The infamous (not to mention insane) Jefferson County Commission.

Can I just tell you that I like Sheriff Mike Hale as does my husband. He has stood up first, for the citizens of the county and second, for the employees. He has done it with professionalism and grace and he has done it all while standing by his wife's side during her ongoing battle with breast cancer. And what does he get in return? Vile spewing of contempt, self righteous actions and attitudes, and personal vendettas (you know it's a fun day when you can work in the word "vendetta").

Rather than just accepting responsibility for years of mismanagement and admitting to the public that this is a horrid, awful, monstrous (okay, I'll put down my thesaurus), situation, but let's work to fix it. Nooooo, the JCC uses up every description of the political profile: deny, lie, shift the blame, and repeat.

So all we have heard is Mike Hale this, Mike Hale that, "he's not a team player", "he needs to come off his funds", waa, waa, waa. Well, let me tell you something, o' ye members of the JCC (maybe I've been reading too much 15th century history - sorry), Mike Hale and the Sheriff's Department are not the people who got us into this mess. You need to remember that you are elected officials and you can be taken out as quickly as you were put in. The bad part about that is, common sense seems to have left the building and I no longer feel secure in thinking that immoral and reprehensible behavior will be duly noted and NOT reelected. Maybe I caught that feeling from my cousin at The Perry County Herald.

Well, I suppose you guessed it - yes, my husband was notified of his lay off last night. Happy Birthday! But guess what JCC? What you meant for evil, God will use for good. We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God (Romans 8:28). My husband, being as perfect and sought after as he is, already has prospective jobs with better positions that he is checking into. It is looking okay, right now.

Either way, "LORD, You have treated Your servant well, just as you promised. You are good and You do what is good (Psalm 119: 65 and 68)." I could go on for hours, days even, speaking of the goodness and faithfulness of Christ, but I beseech (15th century history again, can't help it)you to look for yourself. Allow God to speak directly to you.

And have mercy, pray for the JCC honey.

Honesty IS the Best Policy...

We enjoyed a nice night at church tonight. Unfortunately The Deputy has to work during the Sunday night service, but I do get to snuggle up with our Favorite Girl, since now she goes to "big church".

On the drive home she says so many wonderful things like,
"I just couldn't stop loving on you because you are the best Mommy!" and
"God couldn't have given me a better Mommy!"

I know! So wonderful, right!? Then she tells me that she is probably just going to always live in our house forever. Aaaaahhhh, the sweet innocence of thinking there is no better place than right under Mom and Dad's noses.

So then she adds,

"I mean, this will be better because I really don't want to have to spend all of MY money on a house! Are you going to let me have everything when you die?"

Thanks.

Can't I just write a check?

Maybe I have let on that I have many friends. Well, what I mean to say is that I have mini friends. Yes, I know that the majority of the population is mini compared to me, but seriously. For some reason most of my friends are cute little teeny tiny women with an impeccable sense of style. I think I am the token big loud gawky awkward friend. In other words - I make them look so much better. Not to mention charitable!

So anyway, one of my cute little fashionable teeny tiny friends is all about running now. Well just go ahead and add that to the list. Oh and it's not even a little selfish either, like she wants to look even better. She's doing it because her husband got involved in it and is all into running these things called "threeks and fourks". Well now I don't know why you would put a "k" on the end of a 3, but I know for certain what to do with a "k" on the end of a 4 and it ain't run. Unless I'm chasing my meal and in that case it can't be worth it and I'm calling in some take-out.

She has somehow convinced me that this activity of pretending that I am trying desperately to get away is fun. Fun! Hahaahahahaha, hang on...gimme a minute...okay, I'm good.
Now I'm in trouble. All I remember is the cookies from Edgar's bakery topped with yummy light frothy chocolaty goodness and then saying "yes". Evidently I didn't say yes to what I thought I said yes too. I mean what just happened here? I think the cookies were laced. That no good...
I started saying things like "good to have a goal" and "something positive to work toward". What?! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?!
I have now committed to one of her nutty "threeks"!! Is it too late to back out? Is anyone planning on dying that weekend? Let me know...

Ugggg

Is everyone having as hard of a time as I am getting back in the routine today? Let me just be honest - carnival food and staying up waaaaay past my bedtime has caught up with me big time.

But how can you say no? Gyros, funnel cakes, caramel apples, lemonade, massive piles of greasy fries, philly cheese, cream soda, ice cream, mmmmmm. Then, late nights with Mr. Darcy and Madea.

Well, I better get back in the routine soon. Right now I have to go scrub the finger nail polish off of my child's hands. See? I'm paying for it...

Festibal Fun!

You know how kids say the cutest things? And you know that you need to correct them but the older they get the cute things make way for signs of growing up? So you just hang on to a few things as long as you can. So we don't call M&M's "Auntie Em's" anymore, but I can't let go of "festibal". And it seems the rest of my family can't either. We all say it to be funny, but my Fave is none the wiser. She just knows she fits right in.



We had so much fun visiting the fam in Charlotte. Cousin John Allan went with us to see cousins Katie, Joel (her husband), and Scott and Aunt Trish and Uncle Hugh. John Allan's girlfriend, Caroline, met us there so that was an added bonus. She is great and we are keeping our fingers crossed (wink wink).We were also able to see their friend Jorge again, but were so sad we missed Aunt Trish's twin sister and her family. They chose the beach house over us - imagine that!



Their town is so great and they put on an awesome festibal. First stop -



Yes, I know...every mother's dream. She wanted to wash it off within five minutes which, of course, it still hasn't come off. Katie told her to remember that feeling when she is 18 and "everybody else is doing it." Good advice.

This ride is "The Storm". Awesome time if the overwhelming urge to puke is your thing. She of course squealed with delight the whole time so it was good.

And the last stop - Much better than the first! We HAD to do this before we left to go home. She was all smiles so I think it was worth the last five bucks. He is going to fire it and Aunt Trish and Uncle Hugh are going to bring it to us on Thanksgiving (NOT Katie and Joel, but that's another post).

Such a good time! We three cousins are as different as we can be, but we love each other and always have a good time. I couldn't imagine my life without them! I am so thankful that family is so important to Granny and Granddaddy. They took us grandkids on camping trips every summer and it made all the difference. They made sure that we would be life long friends. Thanks to my Charlotte fam for putting us up and thanks to Granny and Granddaddy for making sure it would happen.

P.S. - I only almost got left this time. Sigh....the plights of the invisible cousin...

Ummm, this is late

For some reason I saved this last Friday and didn't post it. I know, shocker. How could I mess up something so simple? I can give you a dozen reasons.

So we had a fun day today. The Fave got to go spend the day with her very Favorite Cousin. Which is double good because she gets to visit with Granny and Granddaddy, too. Also Whiskers has become another good attraction.



While she was there I put up some peppers, made some Bread and Butter jalapenos (I'll let you know), and almost cut my finger off. Oh yeah, I did. I can't even begin to tell you how painful it is. I am so thankful it is on my left hand, because I'm right handed.



The three of us went to get ice cream then supper - in that order. I know. Best day ever, right? So after ice cream we were contemplating our supper choices. Mexican was pretty logical because

A)I love it.

B)It's cheap.

C)It was right next door.

However Favorite Cousin A put a stop to that quickly because Mexican is waaaaay to fancy. We ended up with Chinese. That Favorite Cousin A. She has a way with words...

I've been warned

I have been officially reprimanded. We had our fun swimming time today and cousin A let me know I should post more. Well if I had the exciting life of adventure that she has I would have plenty to say, but as it is I can barely keep 12 people occupied long enough to make it to the end of my post.

One funny thing did happen. I started following a Bible study teacher that I have read before, Wendy Pope. Well, in trying to add her to my list (which still takes me forever) I misspelled her name and wound up following a girl that called herself a "good little witch". I'm sure her mom is so proud. I mean she may really be, whatever. So anyway...I couldn't figure out how to stop following her blog and get it fixed and I started to panic a little. The Deputy was of course super helpful as he laughed the entire time in the sweetest way. Good stuff, right?

Movie List

Okay, Abbie's Aunt Jill. You have no idea what you have done to me. Committing to a movie top ten is just so hard. Now ask me to give you an organ - easy answer, no thought to it. Yes, of course. But favorite movies? Now that. That is a different story. I have been pestering my family all day about it.

So here are a few we came up with:

1. Napolean Dynamite - Most definitely. Genius.
2. Wizard of Oz
3. Moulin Rouge - even though it ended so badly
Love musicals. For that reason I'm thinking about Mamma Mia.
4. (5? I don't know. Haven't confirmed Mamma Mia) Any Jane Austen novel put to the screen. Love me some heroin and happy ending.
6. Nacho Libre - Love that Jack Black and love Mexico. They were a good combo.
7. Maria Full of Grace - serious movie, but a well told story.

Oh yeah, what about:
8. The Never Ending Story
9. The Labrinth

Totally forgot about those.

This is subject to change at any moment due to what I have rented, whether I am angry, sad, hormonal, or deliriously happy. There is no guarantee the aforementioned won't happen at the same time.

So much! Where do I begin!?
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Well, one place to begin is with the weather - what is up. It was like winter out there yesterday. I needed a sweater. Thankfully we are back to 100 degrees with 90% humidity today.
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My man's been workin' on a big ol' fence. You know I've told you before, when that man does something he does it right. It's made with crossties and he's picking them up and heaving them around...mmm mmm mmm. Enough to make a southern girl blush.
And he just wants us out there, too. There's not much we can do to help - he could do it all himself, but he just likes us to be with him. I think of all the activity I could be getting accompished inside, but he doesn't care. He's more interested in the relationship aspect than the activity aspect. Hmmmm...do you get it? Such a picture of Jesus that my daughter needs to see.

Okay, I know, gag gag gag. Can't help it sometimes - most of the time, yes. But sometimes just can't.
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Picked me up a toofless boyfriend at "The" Thrift Store yesterday. I swear - I attract the oddest assortment ( no offense Dear). Add him to the list with middle aged Asian hibachi chef, four foot tall white supremacist, and twenty year old drunk hippie/missionary. I know. My husband is a lucky guy to have snagged me.
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On a fun note...We started our Ancient Egypt unit last week. So fun! Today we finished up "Mummification Barbie" (thanks Sherry!). She's great. I'll post some pics. Aren't you comforted by the fact that there is not a force on earth - not even mummification - that can cause Barbie to quit doing those blasted prissy hands. I know she's under there just a smiling. Her and her old perfect figure and long blonde locks. This is what you get you little tramp!! Oh, oh, so sorry. I think some old issues resurfaced. I'll take care of that ASAP.
Anyway, neither me nor Favorite Girl had the heart to mummify a stuffed being, so Barbie was the obvious choice.
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I'll leave you with the quote of the day, "Mommy, sometimes you're not that funny."
Thanks.

More important facts...

Oh wow! I have another follower! I have gotten some major good info from Sherry at Living and Learning. Her five year old also has a too wonderful blog himself.

I just have to tell you it seems like I am getting a lot of help with teaching my daughter. For example:
We have a certain friend who has a certain husband that, when he gets mad at someone, calls them "Canadians". I guess this is to refrain from cursing - which we're glad about, or being so obvious in his frustration, or something. Perhaps he thinks that no Canadian would be crazy enough to move from icy cold goodness (not to me) to the blistering heat (not to me) of the south, so he is pretty safe in believing that there is no one to be around to get offended.

Well, fast forward to Favorite Girl asking me, many times, why are the Canadians bad?
"What? The Canadians are not bad."
"Are they the ones that have those funny flags?"
"What? No, I don't guess." Although that is a matter of opinion.
"I think me and Daddy watched a show about them."

Oooooh. After more detective work, I figure out she's talking about the Nazis. I know, so nice. Suitable documentary for every five year old. In his defense, it was interviews with Holocaust survivors.

However she is constantly confusing Nazis and Canadians!! It's so awful! We saw a commercial for a new war movie and she closed her eyes and said,"Oh! I am NOT watching! It's about those Canadians!"
So of course I corrected her and said those people were called Nazis and tried to explain that they are not people of a certain country, they had certain ideas that were very, very bad.
So she replies with,"Nazis, Canadians, whatever. Same thing."
Oh my word, ya'll!! Help me!

Heard Around Here...

Everyone knows kids messing up song lyrics is indeed THE cutest thing ever. So here's some free smiles for ya'. I've been saving 'em up...

1. Jesus saw me with a stranger... This is from "Come Thou Fount", the part that goes "Jesus sought me when a stranger"

2. I'll fly away no glory..."I'll fly away OH glory"

3.My delivery on ses-a-me... This is (I think) Mandisa's song "Deliverer", "My Deliverer, rescued me"

And just as a bonus:

We were talking about visiting fam and she asked," Does Cousin have a kid yet, or is she still too skinny to have one?"

Niiiiiice.

Shark Week

BE STILL MY HEART!! I am in love!! I mean luuuuuuuv, ya'll. Mmm mmm mmm. I just really splurged and bought myself something!! It is not even ANY holiday!! And it's solely selfish! Only to make housecleaning easier, and oh! Have ya'll seen the info-mercials? Well, it works. The Shark. I'm pretty sure I'd marry it. The Shark. Say it with me now...The Shark. Woo! My floors are so clean. I actually am not afraid to walk aound in socks anymore! Socks! They're back! Now I'll be the first to let you know if it wears out to quickly and yes, I'll kick myself. I always say there's nothing like a good laugh - especially at my own expense. But for now, I'll enjoy walking around in my socks.

New Lessons

Remember vocabulary lists? The painstaking process of copying dozens of words, that you probably already knew the definition of but nevertheless spending about 30 minutes chasing down the "official" meaning.

Well, here's some updated vocab you can find only here:

1. aggravated - Used in sentence form:

"Mom, do you know what aggravated means?"
"Yes I do. Why?"
"Because it's what Dad says he is with you."
"Mmmhhmmm."

Now here is today's lesson in humanitarianism:

"Aren't we helping the Mexicans?"
"Yes. Why?" (I know, shouldn't I start thinking a little before I ask that.)
"Dad says somewhere there's a Mexican going hungry today because we're doing all this work ourselves."

Before you get all PC on me, we love Mexicans. The reason The Fave knows we're helping them is because I've been on two mission trips to Mexico and we support some kids at Casa Betania - www.benedictbunch.org - a children's home in Mexico (please go to the website and do the same!).
But come on, let's be honest about it and admit it's funny! When we see a white man sweating like a goat building a fence for his front yard...well, you know.

Anyway. Looks like The Dep is really getting in the swing of this homeschooling thing.

So it's been a while...

I know, I know. A lashing it will be. My loyal subjects have missed me tremendously...RIGHT?? Did anyone notice that I now have 11 followers!! So I'll have to changed my header to possibly periodically checked by around 11 people. Woohoo! Although my newbie, LiAnne has surely long since abandoned me. And with every right.

It's not that nothing has been going on. The Officer is no longer The Officer, he is now The Deputy. He graduated from the Sheriff's Academy, gave a tremendous speech, and won an award - I know, be still my heart.
Favorite Girl is in bed right now with a mysterious rash. So we've been having fun out the wazoo.
We've had tons of kitchen and school fun.
A friend got married and we had a raucous lingerie shower.

The problem has been with me. I enjoy doing this and I enjoy reading blogs of others. I have still been keeping up with everyone else. So here's the thing...I think I have a hard time with self discipline - shocker, I know. I think I was spending a little too much time, not just on blogs, but just maybe not using my free time wisely. It's just you all know how wonderful it is to get a new comment. To see that little number go up and up. It just gives me a little high.

So of course the only thing to suffer is the the only thing a person truly needs, my relationship with Jesus. So I took some time off to evaluate my motives. I got a routine going, checking e-mail once a day, same with blogs and so now I am going to see how I do. I know that those wonderful little nuggets of joy wrapped up in your comment will be there aas soon as I check it first thing...the next morning. I know if there is something I want to say, I can jot down the idea and do it...yes, you learn so quickly...the next morning! My prayer time and Bible study comes first, and I want it too. I love it and I absolutely can't function well without it.

So love to my peeps. Thanks for stickin' with me.
Also congrats to A House Full of Boys who is now a house full of boys and a precious girl! They got their sweet girl today. Please be in prayer for them. Can you believe (she tells this on her blog) that they offered them a "better baby"! Bless that child. God IS Love. I absolutely love that with everything going on in His big world, He knows exactly what that one little girl needs and loves her with a mighty and holy passion.

Art Show!

It's that time again! You know there is nothing a parent likes more than boring others to tears with things we think are the cutest in the world.

Don't lie. I know you are completely doubting my homeschooling abilities. I know this "map" may not be geographically correct, but come on - how cute! And really, what's more important here? Really though, my Favorite Girl made this herself. I was wondering why she kept asking me how to spell all of these random places. I certainly have no idea why she chose the ones she chose. I hope you can see that it is Africa, Tennessee, Alabama, London, Gulf Shores and Pawley's Island.

This is an Auburn picture for me. It's not for Dad because The Officer is an Alabama fan ( just to get on my nerves). So yes, my child is bi-racial.

A pretty little rainbow over a handprint sheep. I'm always wondering where all of my cotton balls go. Those little things are just so cute and fuzzy. Perfect for art projects. She can't help it.

This is "Rainbow Fish". I'm sure you all are familiar with that book. He gives away his shiney scales to his friends.

This is just a random collage. It is actually one of my favorites. I just really like it for some reason. So artsy.