Nothing but the truth.

Okay so seriously, you all know how much I love real whole foods ad I never eat anything else, right? My blood is clean as can be and my health is phenomenal.

Okay so on to the real story...

I really do love real whole food, but...alas I am but human. I swear I did it to sacrifice myself!! To protect my child! From the evils of smooth chocolaty silkiness intertwined perfectly with salty crunchy nuts. I did it for the kids!!

I just knew it was there. Tucked away with the tiny little individually wrapped antioxidants AKA- Dove dark chocolate. (Oh don't judge - they WILL change your life. And they are good for your heart. And trust me- I need that natural mood booster.) As if the dark chocolate would be a good influence on the milk chocolate, caramel, nougaty goodness.

I just kept having this crazy craving. I don't know if it was because I knew it was there, but I don't think so. I think it was just that my body was obviously in desperate need of the nutrients it contains. Which are...well, let's not get off topic here. So I desperately needed the nutrients and I wanted to protect my child. Okay, got it? Right.

SO I took one bite. I thought, I'll just take one bite and savor it and be done.

Well, let's just say that 200 calories later when I threw away the wrapper I was still savoring.

But I swear it doesn't happen often! What? The bake sale? Oh that was for charity, you can't count that. Anyway, that was apple pie and coconut. Two good servings of fruit. Not to mention homemade. Homemade items automatically don't count.

All things that will enhance your life.

Did I mention Netherlands?! I know! Where Peter Pan lives! How great is that! Stats has been sooo good for my geography skills.

Got my Greek on. I have been going to the Greek Festival since I was in high school and it has grown an itsy bit. Still love me some Greek dancing. It's so great. It looks so fun and it must be great exercise. And it's not all provocative like belly dancing or even the gyrating around that people have been calling dancing for the past couple of years. Just fun.

We went to Tannehill State Park today. Great little local gem that we don't use as often as we should. We rode the train, looked around the museum, played in the freezing bubbling springs and rode bikes...a little too much. I'll definitely be buying a cushy seat cover before we go camping next month.

While we were riding bikes we watched everyone else watch the games from their big screens outside their campers. Kids were riding bikes and parents were staring at the screen. Every once in a while huge roars would erupt from all over and I knew the game must have started. It was pretty funny, Schyler thought something bad was going on and got scared until I told her it was all about football.


So I now have 26 followers! That's right. I am approaching thirty. Hey! Just like in real life, you know, my age, approaching thirty. Okay. That's a total lie. Sorry.


Speaking of - Friday was the husbands birthday. We had a fantabulous par-tay.


Schyler directed and starred in a production just for him. After which she sang a special song. It was an old hymn about obedience to Christ even if your friends think your crazy (that part was probably for me, I mean the friends thinking you're crazy part)and the rewards you reap from God. It said something about dying and going to Heaven, so I told him it was to make him feel better about his old age.

He is so old.

Schyler said,"Well it's good to know what's coming." HA! It was great. She was so serious.

But she is right, it IS good to know what's coming!

I love a good fluff

Have you guys been reading on some of the blogs about the recent Compassion trip to Guatemala? It looks like it was amazing. I love reading and hearing about mission trips, it's so great. I've been on two myself, to a central mountainous part of Mexico and it was some of the best times of my life.

But so hard. The common thread I always hear is, "What do I do now?" It is so hard to come home.

So anyway, I was looking at how they choose bloggers to go on these trips and I totally think I have a shot. Tell me what you think...

Have a good following. Okay I have twenty four followers. Twenty four!! That's two whole dozen people. I am practically packing my bags.

Not have an offensive blog. Wellll...okay, let's just move onto the next one.

Actually we'll just stop there. Remember how I have issues with rejection? This could go to a bad place.

If you have never been on a mission trip, you should definitely go. You will not regret it.

So anyhoo. I feel like junk - pretty sure I get to blame that on you, Aunt Mama Hen. Of course you probably owed us one. Just kidding, it's really just these blasted allergies. You'd think that after...well, the amount of years I have been here that I would have worked up some immunities, but no.

Anyway, I have got to go to bed. It is so late. And I have nice clean sheets. Except when I put the top one on, I fluffed it up too high and it hit the ceiling fan, and well, you know what happened.

Dust flew off.

On my clean sheets.

I guess I could clean my fans. Hey, that could have something to do with those allergies...

multicultural experience

Hey bloggers! Oh my goodness! Have you all been clicking that "stats" tab for like evers and haven't told me?!

*Warning*

If you haven't clicked it before - be careful. It's addictive.

It tells you all kinds of stuff about your readers. I mean not too personal or anything. Oh my goodness. Ya'll I had no idea how diverse I am! I appeal to people all over! I mean I should say I appeal to person (because I think it was just one)all over. Do not even say it's probably a spammer trying to hack my computer or that it was someone who accidentally stumbled on my blog and never came back. Do not even say that.

Isn't that right Belgium? Holllaaaa! Love yo' waffles!
Hola to you Spain!
And whatever Portuguese is for hola to you Brazil! Abrazo! That's right.
What's up Canada?! In love with your bacon!
Hey Romania! You guys totally rock gymnastics!
Ukraine! Love your....um...babies...yeah babies! And your waitresses at our IHOP! They're so nice! And really pretty.
Okay moving on! to Indonesia and Philippines! Love your...well, love you! I have no idea about your country, but I promise I will check out some books at the library on you this week! Woohoo!

Yes, that is right. All those countries have visited my blog. It may have only been one person one time, but you don't know that. Which brings to mind another point. God could be really disappointed with me right now...

*Update!* Russia! (I told you it was addictive) Add Russia! Velcome Russia! Is that offensive?

You may not but you should...

Okay peeps, I hope you all know that I totally kid about a lot of stuff. I always think that everyone here thinks the same way I do and understands the tone I may use or my facial expressions, but you may not. As per my last post, I seriously am okay with having one child. I really hope no one takes it as grumbling.

I do have one dirty little secret to share. And friends, it is literally dirty.

I will try to keep it anonymous.

SO a certain person I *ahem* know will hang up her...or his - you never know. Anyways, the washcloth after a shower so it will dry a little. Then, when next shower comes up it has dried a little and I, oh I mean she, will put it in the dirty clothes and it won't get everything soaking wet and yuckified. Retrieve new washcloth (not rag -you know who you are) wash, rinse, repeat.

Okay. So now. That certain person's husband, or um, spouse - no lie oh my word, brace yourself- will... just use whatever washcloth is in there hanging up!! That's already been used people!! Do you understand what this means!?! Dare I say??? He could be washing his face with butt!! He may as well be wiping butt all over his face!! For the love.

His reasoning was, get this - it's "self cleaning". You put soap all over it and then rinse it out, i.e.:clean.

Well.

That's just not the way it works.

Please people, do not suggest the pouf. I shudder at the thought.

Throw a bunch of stuff in it...

Well, tomorrow wasn't better, but oh well. The day was fine but as far as getting actual technical school stuff done - nada. But that's okay really. We learned some far greater skills, things that are truly important in the eyes of God. I pray that we fear God over man, so I'll take His school lessons. And we started way early so God will make sure we get our 170 days in, don't worry.

I made a so yummy casserole with our leftover cornbread the other day. Yes leftovers. For all you moms of a couple o' dozen that happens when you cooked more food than your family consumes. Ha! And I made a yummy casserole with it! Take that! All you exclusive clubs with your cookbooks that have measurements that used to only exist in school cafeterias.

*Clear throat*

Well then, um, I mean it's okay and all. I'm okay with rejection and such. No bitterness here.

Moving on...

Tomorrow will be better. Promise.

We have had a super productive school week thus far.

Monday started with "character training". A good name is more valuable than great riches, so this is important to the properly run Christian household (such as ours). It starts out with eye rolling. Which is followed up with the switch. It then progresses to disobedience and backtalk. Which is also met with a switch. You know, rod+reproof=good (heavy on the reproof).

Tuesday we did "independent writing". Otherwise know as Schyler sitting on her swing set writing on pretty paper. Sorry I can't help it. She's not very good at being alone so when she's in the throes of it I just can't bear to interrupt. Plus I got to talk to my newlywed friend for like ever!(The worst thing about her new husband is that he knows how to properly fold sheets. Isn't that nice.)

Today was "music appreciation". Does listening to symphony music while riding in the car count? I'm pretty sure it does. Plus she watched me get some dental work. Check mark beside science. Double score.

Then we stopped to make a donation to The Salvation Army. It's half off day at their thrift store. I got two major cute sweaters and an Elisabeth Elliott book. Schyler walked away with a pink skirt and pink shoes. Can you beat that? Oh, hang on...I need to add math skills. I told you it was half off day. We got seven items for $12, so that makes...yeah, a fab deal.

It happens.

The bluegrass festival was everything and more. I love some bluegrass and you know, besides that - I have fun wherever I go.

So to prep for the event on the ride over, we went in search of interesting AM radio. Can I just say: jack. pot.

We knew we hit gold when we came across two nice gentlemen talking about stretchy pants and sweater vests.

While there we hit Rebekah's crazy good bake sale to raise money for their adoption. I mean, God said the only true religion was caring for orphans and widows, so if I have to eat apple pie and homemade macaroons, well, I've got to obey you know.

So on the way home the little girls drove one of the big girls nuts. They were playing some sort of game, and I don't know what happened, but anyway, the unnamed big girl got two body parts mixed up and (Christy, this is for you) she said something I still hurt myself laughing about. So how is your clav(test)icle, B?

I should feel bad about this, but I don't, except I kind of do. We had a potluck dinner Sunday night after church. I know, score, right? Is there anything better than a super ultra conservative baptist church's potluck? Um, no.

So anyhoo...I didn't even make our "dish" (I use that term loosely) myself. I had Schyler do it. And we took...I shouldn't say it. Oh dear. I confess. We took box macaroni and cheese! I know! Box! Awful! Have you ever read the nutrition facts!?! A family member bought it and gave it to Schyler. You know good and well I don't keep that kind of stuff in my house. For shame.

When it was over and all the ladies were cleaning up everyone kept asking who that bowl belonged to and I just kept quiet. I never said a word. I was tempted to just leave it there. I was so scared Schyler was going to walk by and bust me. I was finally able to sneak it out.

As the song goes, "I can't hep it." Maybe you had to have been there.

Broken

Alright peeps. (Peeps! Doesn't that prove how street I am?!) Can I just tell you that this is the third "New Post" I've done?


On one, I've got some pretty funny stuff that has happened around here. But then I think, "Hmmm. Maybe that's not quite as interesting as previously thought."


Then I did another in which I totally made fun of two celebrities. Then I thought, "Maybe that's not so, you know, nice." Because I am known for my niceness and all.


How 'bout I just say this: I love celebrities. I love that someone out there besides me is saying completely idiotic, insane, asinine comments. I'm glad that someone besides me is speaking and thinking that the world is hanging on every word. That's just great for me. In a very sad kind of way.


The celebrity one would be so funny to sit and laugh about with someone who knew me, because they would know where I'm coming from. Whereas here, in the Land of Blog, it could come across as judgemental, which I'm so not trying to be (for a change).



Can I just say we need Jesus? Oh honey. We NEED Jesus. We are filled with blatant disregard to The One Who created us. Blatant disobedience, disrespect, and love of anything and everything that is against God.


We have repackaged everything - EVERYTHING - to make it not sin. We have perverted God's grace in more ways.


Okay, I'll stop. I'm not that good at it anyway.

Piano recital was exquisite. I mean exquisite in the potato salad-baked beans way. Those things can be exquisite. 'Round these parts anyhow.

Except afterwards there was a little play time and now my child seems to think she broke her butt. ( I know it's all your fault Bethany.)

Don't laugh. It can happen. I had to, er, uh, I mean I know of someone who had to get there hiney x-rayed before.

So when we were praying I had to pray for her rear-end. Can I tell you we laughed? We did. Right in the middle of praying. But that's okay, I'm pretty sure God laughed a little, too.

Then we laughed again when we thanked God for healing her tushy, the next day.

My child just asked me how to spell "PBS". Oh dear. PBS people!! I promise we actually do learn things around here. At least she hasn't asked me the phone number to 911. Yet.

Well, ya'll have a good weekend! We're going to a gospel bluegrass festival tomorrow. Seriously! Am I a homeschooler or what!?! I am pretty sure this makes it official. I'll try to get our picture made with a man with super long beard and a little bitty woman playing the bass.

Hot Pig and Bought Air

The other day Schyler said something about someone doing something weird. So I told her that, you know, we're pretty weird ourselves. You should have seen the horrified face. She quickly corrected me with, "No we're not! We're the coolest people in the world!".

Isn't that great? I wonder how long I can keep up that facade...

Is everyone roasting a pig today? Pretty much another day for us. Brandon doesn't get holidays off. If it doesn't fall on his off day, well, sorry. Schyler is having a little piano recital this afternoon to celebrate the end of her first course and beginning of the second. Then we'll be having some grilled meat, which is always exciting.

When my mom's parents were alive they used to have the best barbecues. The men would come over and stay up until the wee hours of the morning smoking a ton of meat. My Pawpaw built himself an outdoor kitchen off the barn for them to use on barbecue holidays. The women would come over and bring baked beans, potato salad, slaw, rolls, cakes, pies, homemade pickles and relishes. Mawmaw's sister, whom everyone called "Sister", always made the fried chicken. There was always fried chicken. It was what she did.

The men would stay in their kitchen and the women in theirs. I don't know which I liked better. But, for the record, the women's kitchen had the bought air and good stories. And like Schyler says, "I like to pretend I'm doing something else and really be listening to people talk."
It was a great time. Wonderful childhood memories to have.

Wasted

I pretty much wasted the day today, but it was a good wasted. I visited with Aunt Mama Hen and Granny and Granddaddy. I'm so glad they live right there together. (Schyler's dream is for us to move in over there too.)

It is official. I am officially the last person not on facebook. My 85 year old grandmother has a facebook page. I mean seriously. It's me and that one tribal elder in the jungle that refuses to turn to the new ways.

That's okay though. I'm good with that. I know what my weaknesses are and I'm going to try to stay away from them. I know there is a lot of good that goes on there, but that doesn't matter. I mean not to me. I'm sure I'd be the ringleader of the bad. So I better just stay here where it's comfy cozy and safe.

I got a good idea from Aunt Mama Hen - folding clothes outside on the swing. Brilliant!

God sent me a good change of perspective here lately. Two different friends at two different times made comments about the inside and outside of our home. All they could see was the good stuff. With all my judgy judgersonism, all I did was complain about that good stuff. But they weren't seeing it with a judging heart. I am definitely going to give that a try. It seemed like a lot of fun.

Aunt Mama Hen gave me this blog, It's Almost Naptime, because she enjoys it and told me there was a super sweet video on it. And there is and I've seen another of his videos and it was good too.


But what drew me was the advice. It is a good resource for helping others through miscarriage. My daughter was a fraternal twin and we lost our other baby at 14 weeks. We were under the care of a specialist at the time so I was getting ultrasounds weekly. I watched that baby grow from a tiny little heartbeat to a teeny tiny little flipping baby.



I still think about my baby every day. But, when it happened, it was a hard and strange thing. We are somewhat coming out of generations that had to toughen up to those things. It happened a lot and they wanted to protect themselves, and their family also. I remember calling a friend to tell her and she said, "Ohhhh. Yeah." Then went on to another subject. Like I just told her that dress I bought didn't fit and I had to take it back. And it wasn't her fault. She wasn't trying to be mean. She just didn't know what to do.



Some people are just naturally good with stuff like that, but if you're more like me, you could check it out.

Remember that bad day?

You know...the one where I was pretty sure we had cancelled out any previous good days that week? Well, at the end of the day, Schyler wrote me this letter:

It says,
"I love you Mommy so much. Each day I grow more love for you. Even in a bad day I grow more love.
Love, Schyler"

Now you see why it would be easy for me to miss any deviousness going on, as per our previous conversation.

I think about this from time to time but I tend to ramble and I'm not sure if I can communicate to you in clear sentences so you can understand me.

Okay ladies, can we talk? Good. Let me tell you something that has been on my mind.

You know as a parent, we love our children. If you love Jesus like I love Jesus we see how mightily God loves us through our love for them. (Could I use the word love in that sentence one more time?) We see the potential, the creativity, the talent, the kindness, everything wonderful that is there in our children. Of course again, if you know Jesus like I know Jesus, hopefully we also understand the sin that is there.

Now you know, before I was a mom, I was (in this order) a nanny, a preschool teacher and a kindergarten teacher. I had been with every age group in which it is important to watch for, diagnose, and begin treating a barrage of different things that can affect children in different ways.

What I would see from time to time is wonderful loving Mamas deny their children extra help, for reasons I do not understand. I could be judgmental here, and I have been before, and say it is solely pride, but I do not know that for sure.

So that is one thing that I always worried about. That, when I had children, I would not be able to see it myself if my child needed some sort of professional help. Therefore making their life a little more difficult, very much unnecessarily.

But as I mature and as my child matures, I realize there is something more important. I worry that my child will miss something spiritually and I won't see it. I remember, shortly after Schyler was born I was in a Bible study. I distinctly remember studying about Samson and his family. Of course I knew the cleaned up version of Samson from childhood, but I had never given him much thought or study as a grown-up. He was so conniving (don't we want to spell that kniving?! Get it?! Ba dum bum -Yes, I'll be here all week.) tricking his parents. And they never saw it. They thought he was so great and set apart from others. And he turned his life into a big ol' mess.

Now THAT scares me.

SO there ya go. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Oh, yes, of course I pray. I pray and pray and pray. And I know that it is not all *sighhhhhh* all we can do is pray. As if that is some small trifling thing and I wish I could do something real. I know that prayer is the battle and prayer is doing something real. But I am flesh and that fear creeps in. Maybe someone else out there has that fear, too.

Or even worse, maybe no one has that fear and I just opened up a new can of worms, and you are completely flipping out right now. All thanks to me. Never to enjoy your child's childhood again. Okay, I'll hush now. Sorry...

Don't blame me, you could have been reading to your kids...

Brandon has a class for work he has to attend and it happens to be at the beach. I know, poor us. However, I did hesitate when he asked if I wanted for us all to go.

Hesitated long enough for Schyler to say she would rent a mother and go if I said no.

Thanks.

Good to know I am irreplaceable.

I made some banana nut muffins with raisin bran cereal today. Delish. I am so domestic. Is freakin a bad word? Because it would fit right there if it's not. I'm going to get back to you on that...

I guess it is. I would never let my kid say it - and that's always a good test. Should I just go back and delete the whole thing now??? Oh dear, I'm freaking out a little. Now that's not bad. You can use it that way. You can totally freak out.

Well now. We made it through that.

Aunt Mama Hen and her chicks came over today for some swim time, so that was awesome. It could be the last for the summer, but who knows? This is Alabama. We could be swimming next month. Oh, and she jumped off the diving board. Now that is good stuff. It was more like a great big step off the diving board more than a jump. But it didn't matter, the kids were ecstatic. I mean they were like, life fulfilled happy. It was great.

So I would love to read some more good blogs, so let me know if you have some good ones that you just can't live without.

I swear, I am just a pile of ridiculousness today. It's like, good grief, you don't have to fill a page with junk just because you haven't blogged in a while.

Sorry.

There's 10 minutes of your life you'll never get back.