I think about this from time to time but I tend to ramble and I'm not sure if I can communicate to you in clear sentences so you can understand me.

Okay ladies, can we talk? Good. Let me tell you something that has been on my mind.

You know as a parent, we love our children. If you love Jesus like I love Jesus we see how mightily God loves us through our love for them. (Could I use the word love in that sentence one more time?) We see the potential, the creativity, the talent, the kindness, everything wonderful that is there in our children. Of course again, if you know Jesus like I know Jesus, hopefully we also understand the sin that is there.

Now you know, before I was a mom, I was (in this order) a nanny, a preschool teacher and a kindergarten teacher. I had been with every age group in which it is important to watch for, diagnose, and begin treating a barrage of different things that can affect children in different ways.

What I would see from time to time is wonderful loving Mamas deny their children extra help, for reasons I do not understand. I could be judgmental here, and I have been before, and say it is solely pride, but I do not know that for sure.

So that is one thing that I always worried about. That, when I had children, I would not be able to see it myself if my child needed some sort of professional help. Therefore making their life a little more difficult, very much unnecessarily.

But as I mature and as my child matures, I realize there is something more important. I worry that my child will miss something spiritually and I won't see it. I remember, shortly after Schyler was born I was in a Bible study. I distinctly remember studying about Samson and his family. Of course I knew the cleaned up version of Samson from childhood, but I had never given him much thought or study as a grown-up. He was so conniving (don't we want to spell that kniving?! Get it?! Ba dum bum -Yes, I'll be here all week.) tricking his parents. And they never saw it. They thought he was so great and set apart from others. And he turned his life into a big ol' mess.

Now THAT scares me.

SO there ya go. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Oh, yes, of course I pray. I pray and pray and pray. And I know that it is not all *sighhhhhh* all we can do is pray. As if that is some small trifling thing and I wish I could do something real. I know that prayer is the battle and prayer is doing something real. But I am flesh and that fear creeps in. Maybe someone else out there has that fear, too.

Or even worse, maybe no one has that fear and I just opened up a new can of worms, and you are completely flipping out right now. All thanks to me. Never to enjoy your child's childhood again. Okay, I'll hush now. Sorry...