Ramblings

Rambling #1:
*Note to self - people don't like to talk about boobs on your blog.*

However, I did rack up. Spent $15 at the Pub, saved $45.
Spent 3.68 at CVS on almost $50 worth of stuff. And got 3 bucks back. TOLD YA!!
Oh and remember the toilet paper? - incredible. If I fold just right I can go with 4 squares. Unbelievable.

Rambling #2:
My dryer busted. No good. But in an effort to buy her way into Heaven, my [unnamed family member] gives to the needy, i.e. me. Bad for her eternal soul, but good for my temporal one. She had an extra dryer on hand.

Rambling #3
Schyler said we were playing...Dad is the king and she was the princess. Oooooo, I get to be queen! Mwaaaahaaaahaaa...

Heard next:

"Mom! You're the wicked witch."

Naturally.

"The girls" got skillz

You know I love a deal. I got Brandon hooked last week. You know, when we went to Publix for our date.

He watched my mad coupon skillz (I am so street)in action.

We picked up 12 items for 11 bucks - which included milk and 12 rolls of Charmin toilet paper. I specifically told you those things because I like to brag.

So this week is going to be good for deals.

Why, you ask?

Because "m'ladies" have this little issue. Something about fibers or cysts, holding water, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. Sometimes, like all ladies do, they retain water. And not for the reason you may be thinking, either. Just at random times.

So anyway when they fill up with water, let me tell you. Gifts rain down from heaven. I mean it is TOTALLY painful, but come on - free stuff!! Free stuff!!

Don't worry. I have a standing scrip for lasics and after a couple of days I take a couple and it's all over. But for a brief moment I am a porn star, er, um, princess.

Oh double bonus! I don't even have to worry about whether or not I have played out the doghouse! I am SO going to "rack up".

History repeats

Brandon's been in the dog house, so I got a night out last night.

I know what you're thinking...what about all this crazy goodness?!?

Well, like I said...he's been in the doghouse. So I'm going by Biblical standards for Christian wives and milkin' it for all it's worth. That's Biblical, right?

Got some sinfully (speaking of) fab manicotti at one of our fave Italian restaurants (de Vinci's in Homewood).

I know, I know, but Captain D's for the love! I'm not trying to dis the D's.

Is Brandon out of the doghouse, you say? I don't know. Do you think I can get anything else?

It's kind of like back in the day...*picture dream bubble above my head*

I used to hide my sister's "red notes" from my parents in order to extort work from her. Red notes were bad notes she brought home in pre-school and kindergarten.

I mean, I'm ten years older than her, and obviously I know how to capitolize on my resources. And trust me - there were PLENTY of resources (red notes).

So I would make her do stuff for me with the threat of "I'm going to give the red note to Mom and Dad". Until she would finally get sick of it and scream "I DON'T CARE! Give them the red note!!"

At which time I knew my time was up. And of course I wouldn't give it to them because I would have been in just as much trouble. But she was dumb. And I could just wait until the next red note came in.

Aaaaahhhhh, those were the days...

Score!

Had a sitter last night. Yeah baby.

So we did all the things adults do when they have a sitter...

Funeral home?
*check*

Wal-Mart?
*check*

Publix?
*check*

Fay-ncy sit down eatery?
*Captain D's - oh double check bay-beeee*

So sorry for all of you who had to stay home last night...enjoying the rain...in your *sniff sniff* comfy cozy clothes...under you Snuggie...

You know who I love?

I mean really love.

He's got the cuteset little smile, always on his face.

He's so helpful. Always gently reminding me if I forget to do something.

Maybe it's because I have a thing for underdogs. I think he has gotten a bad wrap.

Maybe it's that he's just so gosh darn cute!

It could be my obsession with organization/office supplies...



Yep, it's him. I confess.

All the cool kids are doin' it...

Be a dear and go to

www.samaritanspurse.com
to find out what you can do to help Haiti.

Really?

Four?

Four?

I could only entice four of you to admit you read this? Guess I should have told you the prize was a $100 gift certificate. Too bad! Too late now.

Four.

I can not believe.

Anyway, guess who won?

Yep. Mama Hen. Go figure. Well, good for me because I don't have to pay shipping now.

(Aunt Mama Hen, it's not really $100, but please don't tell. Make 'em be sorry.)

Lost in Translation

Sometimes on Sunday night after church we go out to eat Chinese with friends.

This is where I have found the Asian community doesn't get a lot of our jokes.

Actually, NO community gets a lot of our jokes.

Example #1:

Waiter: Ready?

Friend's kid: Mmmm, I'll have fries and ketchup.

Us: *hysterical laughing* then parents give real order.

Waiter comes back with a bowl full of rice and ketchup.

Example #2:

Kids are older now, reading a little.

Kids: What's a (pronouncing phonetically) PuPu platter?

Us: I think it's pronounced "poopoo".

*hysterical laughing*

Waiter: Ready?

Kids: I'll have the poo poo platter! *hysterical laughing*

Us: *hysterical laughing*

I mean, come on, it's funny.

You guessed it, waiter comes back with the PuPu Platter. We just stare at each other as we mentally recollect the previous exchange.

Because depending on which kid really said it, that's the parent that's going to have to fork over the 8.99 for the darned poopoo platter.



So Schyler is into baking and she wated me to share her version of the PuPu/poopoo platter...

Public Service Announcement

How funny is this!?! Doesn't it make you think "lurk more". Yeah, we should definitely all lurk more.

No, wait!

Here's a public service announcement from Rachel:
There seems to be some confusion as to whether National Delurking Day is January 10th or January 12th, so I'm just declaring it to be January 10th THROUGH the 12th.

Rachel is the authority on these things so obey the blogging laws.

Stop your lurking and leave a comment. If you do, I will enter you to

WIN A PRIZE!

That's right - A PRIZE!! How exciting is that?!

Here are directions for non and new bloggers (as per Rachel of the Blogging Authority Administration), so pay attention Granny. Maybe we'll finally figure out how you can leave a comment:

If you're new to blog commenting and don't have a Google login, once you click on "# comments" or "post a comment" , you can either select "Name/URL" and just put your name in (you can leave the URL blank if you don't have a blog), or "Anonymous" and sign your name within the comment.



*Okay, so I don't know if there really is a BAA, but if there was, Rachel would be the founder and President. And she would be goooood. So just do it.

Word to you, muthas

Pretty much everyone that reads this is a mother, so I took some liberty there. If you're not - Well word to you, too deary.

Since it's Sunday I thought I'd lay some Word on ya. Yeeeeeaah.




Oh dear. I am soooo white bread.




I just know one day I'm going to find out there is some exotic whole grains or wheat in me somewhere.




But I can't even claim Wonderbread.




I am just plain ol' .98 store brand white.

Anyways...back to the subject at hand...

Mean People. Should I say peeps? No? Okay.

Don't we all have some people in our lives that are just downright (see how white I am?)mean? Hateful, even. I have some that I would definitely describe as hostile.

SO in some prayer and thinking God sent me to Romans 8:28.

So I'm like, "God. Don't you know how good I am? I know that verse forward and backward. I don't need to look it up."

To prove it I recited it to Him. He's so patient.

But He kept on.

I was all, "Gooood, do you want me to recite in Spanish?" Oh yeah, I'm cool like that.

He then asked me if I would hush and obey. Remember the spitty mud and the eyes? God's a weird guy. Asks us to do weird stuff. Now this ain't near as weird as spitty mud in the eye, but if I'd like...

Okay, okay.

So I go there (Even though I know it. Just saying. You know, for the record.). And my eyes immediately go to Romans 8:6-9. There we are told that the mindset of the flesh, AKA: those who are not alive in Christ, not saved, not filled with the Holy Spirit, not beleivers, etc., etc., is hostile to God. They don't submit themselves to the freedom there is in in God.

Then God brought to mind Mathhew 17:21, "This kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting."

Well, I can't explain it all. All I know is to pray, seek God through scripture, pray some more. And obey - the first time, like your mama says.

Looks like this will be a year of prayer and fasting for me!

And that's fine, because I'm sure God will be much more successful than me. My resolution on memorizing drawers isn't going so well.

Big ol' helping of humble pie

I know the Lord loves a humble heart.

It's a good thing.

Look at this cutie patootie...



(She's available, by the way, if you have an eligible bachelor - that is worthy of course.)

Isn't she adorable?

I used to wipe that little fanny.

Yep. I was her babysitter.

And now...

She's my boss.

Yep. MY boss.

Lord help me.

This could go any number of ways...

She told me I could "go ahead and wipe down the equipment".

The nerve! I caught myself about to tell her she better get over there and do it herself. I may be her babysitter, but I am not her maid.

Then I realized it is indeed no longer 1992.

Lord help me.

This weekend...

must be another reason for Al Gore to hate Alabama.

Just sayin'.

Cleaning with pink elephants...

Are these a beauty or what?




Wait. I think you need the flash to get the full "sparkle" effect...



Don't you love your cleaning items to have a certain psychodellic flair?

These were a Christmas gift.

For me.

From...well, maybe I better not say.

Hint?

Thanks, Lianne for reminding me that I probably got the, um, most unique Christmas gift this year.

That is unless Jill got more peanut butter ( I wanted to link to the P.B. story, but I couldn't find it. Okay. I quit looking. Sorry.).

About this global warming...

Ummm, I kind of think it's not happening.

It is cold as rear.

What is up? The good Lord put me down here because I can't tolerate the coldness. Brrrrrrr.

It is making me really thankful that we homeschool. If we didn't, I would win worst mom ever award, because you ain't gettin' me out in this coldness. So no school for my chick. Better not tell her that. As long as we get to sit our cold rears next to the fire in our jammies and, yes Aunt Mollie, Snuggies, we're all about some school.

Here's one member of our fam that likes the cold...


This is Scratch. Brandon found him on a bridge on the interstate on his way home from work.

He said, "What could I do?? Let him stay there and get hit?"

*sigh*



So here he is. I can't complain. He has been easy to housetrain and he sleeps in his crate at night.




This is pretty much what goes on all day.

Tugging and screaming. He fits in fine here.

Wait...Where does this go?

We're not at church today...Schyler's got the pox. Chicken, not small.

So since we're at home on Sunday, I have been taking this time to ponder some deep, spiritual questions.

For example: Exactly how long do you have to live in one place before you correctly remember which drawer things are in?

We have lived in this home for six years. Which is a record for us - we moved 4 times in our first six years of marriage. I know, we were nuts. NUTS.

But anyways, I open at least two drawers before I correctly put anything away.

Socks? Underwear drawer, bra drawer, hmmmmmm[staring staring], AHA! Sock drawer!

EV-ER-Y-TIME.

Maybe that will be my New Year Resolution. Memorize my drawers and successfully put things away the first try.

The big 2010 is here. Ten years post Y2K...I think I still have Tang and canned soup from that. Not to mention my "Y2K compliant" hairdryer.

I just went through last years blog entried. Pretty much all I did was talk about my brilliantly smart and wonderful child. SO now I have to admit that I AM one of those people. I guess it happens to us all. Can't be helped.

I noticed my comments went way down. So I must have gotten way more boring. I'll try to jazz it up a bit this coming year.

Although as I sit here bundled in my bubblegum pink Snuggie, it's hard to imagine anything I do is going to be jazzier.