Hmm, what? What just happened?

Oh gracious, I am so fuzzy. I mean just fuzzy. Not the it's-winter-and-I-don't-have-to-shave-fuzzy, but the-fuzz-is-in-my-head fuzzy. And not in the the-voices-are-speaking-to-me-in-my-head kind of fuzz, but the I-am-so-confused-I-can-not-make-a-decision-to-save-my-life kind of fuzz.

Isn't it awful?

We are going through such a time of transition and who likes transition? No one, that's who.

As far as homeschooling goes, it's time to get ready for next school year. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. I look at is wonderful, perfect and definitely for us...until I look at the next thing. Aunt Mama Hen says welcome to homeschool.

SO I thought I would do what every good wife should do...put the decision off on my husband so that if it is the wrong one, I can blame him. Right? Am I speaking to anyone else out there, or is it just me. Because if it's just me, that's okay.

I hide it under "submission". Oh, yeah, I know, I'll submit to my husband's decision on this (because I do that all the time). All the while secretly thinking, "Mwaaahaaahaaaa, now I won't take the fall for it! Perfect!"

Seriously. How many times have I told you? I am screwed up. What IS my deal?

But God.

The best two words in the English, scratch that, ANY language.

But God. God can interject His wisdom, peace, and my very favorite - happiness! The kind of joy-happiness that can't be taken away.
The kind of wisdom that will never be a bad decision.
And the kind of peace that we can't even understand.

I didn't understand at first. It wasn't "coming to me". You know...like the lightening bolt that I always want.

But now I know. But God.

If I stop, give the Holy Spirit a chance to work. Respond in kindness. God can interject His characteristics into a heart that is kind.

A heart that is determined to do it her own way, stay mad, or do the thing that "makes better sense" can't receive what God is so desparately trying to give.

Hmmm...oh dear. How did I get here? What in the world was I talking about to begin with? Sorry...