Okay so last night I was trying to be nice and wait up for The Officer. You know, it's nice to come home and have someone to talk to. I can't do it often because I have to get up so early, but I decided to last night.
So anyway...I am really tired so I decide to scope out some of these new satellite channels he pays for. They are mostly junk, but I thought, hmmm Discovery Health Channel, I'll check that out. Well let me just tell you, I am pretty sure it is run by doctors, pharmacists, and drug companies (no offense Nurse Aunt) because I am almost POSITIVE I need every test and scan ever mentioned last night.
First I watched a show called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? There are enough people that this has happened to that they can make a whole series about it!? So now I am sure I am going to deliver at any moment. And most assuredly in a very gross, unsterile bathroom. Definitely a public one. Seriously, expect a birth announcement, I have all the symptoms.
As if that weren't enough, I continue watching a show called "Mystery Diagnosis". Not only am I sure I have various tumors and forms of cancer, I just know my family does too. I plan on speaking with my doctor ASAP to set up CAT scans, PET scans, MRI's, etc. We have all the symptoms. Even though I just went for my yearly I know he missed something. These diseases are sneaky you know. Do you even know how many mystery illnesses there are lurking around out there?!! I honestly do not have a chance.
The worst part is, before it got to the end of the show, The Officer walks in and proclaims, "What in the world??! This is SO off limits for you." So now I don't even know what I have. I have to go now...my head is starting to hurt...
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5 comments:
OMG you are a hypochondricac!!!! That is so funny! I can tell you right now that I stay away from all of those shows for the same reason...I would think I needed to have every test and exam available...so I just don't watch it...that way I can't think about it!! You need do the same my friend and I don't think there is a chance in the world that a baby could be hiding in your small frame...now me that's a different story!!
And what are you doing at home right now?? Aren't you supposed to be at work?? I'm calling you tonight....you know...after 7:00..well that is if I can tear myself away from those Twilight books...I'm on the last one...already..ha!
Okay, like Carrie, I know there is no baby, cause you would have a baby bump on day 3 you are so tall and slim:) (I'll take my $5 next time you see me.)
And, I do the same thing with the kids. If I hear of someone whose child is sick, seriously, or just a childhood thing, I am sure my kids all have it too.
You probably do have it. There probably is no cure. It probably is highly contagious. I prescribe chocolate, no housework, and lots of playtime with fave. girl to ease the symptoms.
You are so funny. I really enjoyed that.
Hey Jennifer...I've got something for you over on my blog!!
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