Ug.

I think the dog days are here. I make it a point to not complain about the weather, and I'm not complaining now. Just stating the facts.

I feel like I could lay around and sleep all day long. All day. I'm totally blaming the heat. No energy. None at all.

And no inspiration. I am sucked dry. Dry.

I'm going swimming. Bye.

Oh, but first - I need game ideas for a lingerie shower. Fire away.

Is there ever a good title to my posts?

In visiting blogs, I have noticed a recurring theme. Now remember what I said about me being romantically deficient.

I was checking out some new (to me) blogs and one thing I always notice on profiles is "...and I am married to the most wonderful, loving, bestest, caring, handsomest, wonderfulest hardest workingest husband in the whole entire world [insert princess giggle here]!".

Wouldn't it be great to see someones profile say"...and I am married to the complete scum of the earth. He pretty much lays around all day. And eats. Yeah, he eats."

No. I know it wouldn't really be funny. In theory it seems to work. But really it would be sad.

Chicky watch is going well. We call her/him (?) Butter ball. Looks like a little ball of butter. I got a picture but it's not very good. I didn't want to turn on the flash and blind it.

Schyler gets her tonsils out in two weeks. She is thrilled. I am probably going to have to invest in tons of therapy because she's going to be one of those people that fake illness for attention.

We couldn't go to church last night because I had to take my car in to have it serviced. Turns out there was something dead in it. Nice. That would explain the stench, though.

Well, I've got to go get ready for work. I thought about calling Amber and telling her I couldn't come in since we just had a baby. Could work, you never know.

Our Brood Has Expanded!

Oh my goodness! Schyler is beyond excited. Okay and I'm not going to lie I was pretty excited too!

The funness!!

We have our first baby chickies!!

Our poor little mama has sat and sat. Waited and waited. Oh I can feel her pain! And isn't it curious, she has one little chicky. Hmmm...Something special to tie us together. It's great to have a chicken friend.

I mean, honestly I guess I don't even know for sure that it is just one chicky, because she won't get up and we're not prying her too. I, not being a hen and all, have no idea how to take care of baby chickies so she's going to have to do it herself.

But the one we did see is sooooo cute! It was toddling around all fuzzy. It must have hatched yesterday because it's not all wet and slimy. But it was just out for a moment. It went right back under it's sweet mama's wing.

I did read to boil and finely chop some eggs for them, so I did do that. Oh ew. That just kind of hit me. Could have been a brother or sister, there. Oh well. Circle of life you know.

Hu-lar-i-ous

Oh I could not waste a minute! I am literally laughing out loud right now! And I'm all by myself, which makes me a touch on the creepy side...

So anyhoo...I know, I know. I do not have one single solitary romantic bone in my body. I know it's ridiculous, I'm a girl, but I am sorry. Romance makes me absolutely bust a gut. I was at a wedding once where the groom performed a love song he wrote for his bride. Oh my goodness ya'll, I was practically ushered out. Pitiful.

Okay so I don't watch a lot of TV, but I catch things every once in a while to stay somewhat in tune with what's going on in the world. So I've never watched The Bachelorette, so I caught it tonight!!

Oh the comedy!!

I swear, the girl...oh dear. Speaking of blessing someones heart.

The girl kept crying about this guy who was leaving saying, "oh how could you do this to me?! I've given up everything to be here!"

I'm sorry, wha.....

How could he do what? Give up his five minutes of fame? Give up the chance to travel to places a "retail manager" doesn't even know exists? Give up the chance to launch his modeling/acting career?

Puuuleeease girl. Dry it up.

And you've given up everything? What? Your job? Please. For the love. You're like, ten years old. You'll get another job. Go build yourself a lemonade stand. At least that would be respectable.

And then the other two guys are smiling like I don't know what because they got the magical mystical rose. Um, Huuulloooo!! Anybody home??? Does anybody even care for one second that you may not be getting a rose if the other guy's other girlfriend hadn't told him he better quit and come home or she was cutting him off?

I think my IQ just went down a couple of points.

Anyway, laughing is good for your liver or something so I'm good there. Give and take. Give and take.


*Okay so I know some of you are so mad at me right now cause I'm hatin' on the Bachelorette. Hey, if you love that faux blondie keep on lovin'!! No foul! I'm just way to practical. I just can't get into reality TV. I just can't convince myself that it's real. We can still be friends, right?*

Bless your heart...

Well I got my rant out and the week is done, so let me shift to the other end of the spectrum...

Hey, but first - do you guys ever notice that sometimes I sneak big words in completely out of place? I just wondered. Because nobody ever mentions it when I do, but that kind of stuff is so hysterical.

So anyhoo...I got behind this super slow driver on the interstate yesterday. Man. I mean I drive "safely", but this chick. Ohhhhh...

Huge bumper sticker on the back says "STUDENT DRIVER".

Bless her little heart.

I got a semi-telemarketer call the other day and I always try to be super nice because I know it's their job and they're having a hard time anyway. I mean I don't know that for sure, but come on. They're telemarketers. They have to be having a bad day.

So I say it was semi-telemarketer because she didn't want to sell anything, she wanted to do a survey. So I did it. I wasn't busy.

So it was about local hospitals and which hospital would I use for what, etc., etc.

We got almost to the end and she asked me which hospital I would use for "psychic services".

After maintaining composure from almost busting a gut from trying not to laugh out loud I clamly (REMAIN CLAM!!!!!!!!!) repeated, "psychic services?"

And she said, "Yeah. Hmmm. That does sound funny. *pause* So which one?"

Bless her bones.

This last one is for you...you know who you are. I didn't get the chance to make fun of you to your face, so I'll just do it here.

I was explaining the trend of glamping to someone. Ohhhh yeah. Now you reeeealllly know who you are. Suckaaaaa.

So I explained that it's camping in a glamorous way. With huge "tents" (if you can call them that) set up complete with entire bedroom suites, living rooms, and formal dining rooms where you are served gourmet dinners.

Her response?

"Wait a minute...who would pack up all that stuff and carry it around??"

Bless her precious little heart. I mean just bless it.

*Sorry to sell you out on my blog. But not really.*

I must be hormonal...

Okay, can I just vent? Of course I can. This IS my blog.

Can I just throw my two cents in about the BP stuff? Okay, cause here's the deal. Someone please tell me if I'm right or wrong - not that it matters! Because this comes from some completely uneducated thinkin' on this matter.

Somehow I feel like BP has convinced us not to boycott them so that they will "be around to clean up their mess".

So here's the thing:

For people like (the majority of) us, i.e.:middle class, hourly workers, those who turn the air down to afford the bill, etc., it is really hard to fathom exactly how much money BP has. It is innumerable, immeasurable, and infinitous (okay that may not be a word). I personally think the entire state of Alabama, not that we are the only state affected, could boycott BP and it wouldn't be a drop in the bucket. I really don't think it would be missed. I think all of the gulf states could boycott and it wouldn't be greatly missed.

However, we would be standing for something. And that ALWAYS counts.

In discussing gas drive-offs (people stealing gas) with our local BP owner once, years ago, he said it was a nuisance because gas stations don't make much money off of gas. It was just the gas that drew people in. So there's something to think about.

I also would like to know how hard it is for stations to quit with one company and go to another. Because I know it can happen, I've seen with with my own eyes, I just don't know what it involves.

So I guess the synopsis is, whether or not we buy from BP, I am pretty convinced that they will be around.

Whether or not they clean it up properly - who knows? Can this mess even be cleaned up - I'm not so sure.

All I know is big oil has a heck of a lot of power if they can even convince everyday average hard working families to buy gas from BP in an effort to "help the clean-up effort". Pshhhh!

Oh! The Nerves!!!

Well, my sweet and, obviously, all too trusting friend Farrah at See Mom Save asked me to do a guest post today while she is gone to camp with her kiddies.

A guest post! Forget the fact that I am the only other person she knows personally that blogs! I feel like a million bucks!

Don't worry, though. The fam will be up soon and I will be struck right back down to size...

I honestly can not tell you how nerve wracking it was to click "publish post" on someone else's blog. I mean I have dry-mouth, for the love. Which is weird, because I haven't spoken. But wait...no. I definitely don't have dry fingers.

So I guess I'll just sit back and see if I unknowingly created a firestorm. Which happens to me quite often. Imagine that...